Tis the Season

CAUTION: This edition of Michael On The Air is laced with words and phrases that may insult, hurt or damage you. Some of these words and phrases are so vile and disgusting that the very mention of them might do permanent harm to your psyche causing you to undergo pricey therapy for years to come. So, keep reading at your own risk. There will be no cash payouts for those who do continue to read and are insulted, belittled or degraded beyond what a human being should have to endure.

Merry Christmas!

There…I’ve said it, that vile and disgusting phrase that is causing so much pain and suffering. Yes, we’re back to the Christmas Season and the lunatic fringe is screaming bloody murder, running for their very lives from stores who would actually have the first amendment gall to say, “Merry Christmas” to them. They say it’s the height of offensive behavior to have someone wish them a “Merry Christmas” during this… er… um… well, Christmas Season. And that doing so is SO patently offensive that said establishments should pay…literally, for the pain and suffering caused by this unwarranted and cruel behavior.

Meanwhile, the ACLU is in full attack dog mode, going after anyone who would dare display a Nativity Scene anywhere that the “public” might see it. I’ll paraphrase Dennis Miller here who said that the ACLU will sue every town who would dare display a Nativity Scene BUT will also sue for the “rights” of the local town pervert who wants to have sex with the plastic animals in the Nativity Scene. Right on Dennis!

Pardon me for thinking clearly but it is the Christmas Season, Christmas Day is the traditional celebration of Christ’s birth and if you don’t like it or it is so offensive to you, then be an adult about it, quietly sit it out, put your money where your big mouth is and refuse any and ALL gifts or Christmas bonuses, go to work on Christmas Day and enjoy yourself. But no eating the fruitcake from the company party. 

Last night while driving home I accidentally caught a glimpse of a Nativity Scene and yet, somehow, I lived to tell about it. Believe it or not the horror of seeing the baby Jesus surrounded by his Mom and Pop, the wise men and several plastic and oddly sized animals did not permanently scar me or cause me to drive my car into a tree or take the lives of others.

Bear with us Christmas haters, the well wishes from strangers and friends alike will cease shortly and then you can be happy again. The thoughts of Peace, Joy and Goodwill toward men, will fade as the New Year begins. The stores will replace all the Christmas décor with the displays for the next big moneymaker for them, Valentines Day…or should I say “Saint” Valentines Day…holy guacamole here we go again.

Merry Christmas…God Bless You All…Peace, Joy and Goodwill.