Bless Her Heart

I was born in Charlotte, North Carolina in 1955. In 1958 my folks moved to sunny southern California, two years ago I moved back to the Charlotte area and I love it.

I am enjoying the change of seasons, the cleaner air, the lack of graffiti, the food and the folks. I have been indoctrinated in the ways of NASCAR, fried turkey for Thanksgiving, bonfires in the backyard and real honest to goodness moonshine, peach and pear are favorites.

 
I had always heard of “Southern Hospitality” and “Southern Charm” and many people I had told about my move to the south had mentioned that people, in general, we’re a bit more friendly and hospitable in the south than in other areas. I have indeed found that to be the case.

I have also found an interesting phenomenon here as well… and that is, the ladies have a way of being nasty to each other in a very nice, polite, southern kinda way. They use the patented, Southern Insult Remover; it removes most insults, slurs and put downs with three simple words, “Bless Her Heart”.

This is the coolest thing I have ever seen; the women here can say the nastiest, cattiest,

most cruel things about each other and as long as they end it with, “Bless Her Heart”, all is fine. And it’s not just the words, it’s the way the phrase is said, there is a very unique cadence and rhythm to it. Here’s how it’s done…

You start with the insult in your regular voice, “Did you see what Kathy was wearing?”,

then you drop your voice to half volume, talk slightly, very slightly, out the side of your mouth, then as monotone as you can say it, you say, “Bless Her Heart”. BINGO… all is forgiven, your soul is cleansed, no guilt and you’ve said what you wanted to… brilliant!

But it goes further, the ladies here have made this into such an art form that sometimes they don’t even have to stoop to the insult, just a question and the magic phrase will do.

“Did you taste Yvonne’s pie?... Bless Her Heart”.

My family name is Anglado, that makes me part Italian and the Italians have a similar phrase, “I mean no disrespect here…but you’re a belly crawlin’, blankety, filth-filth, son of a beagle, mother-father blankety-blank-blank…but…I mean no disrespect”. The Italian version is close but just doesn’t have the charm of a wonderful southern lady with big hair and that magnificent southern drawl saying, “Bless Her Heart” as long as she isn’t using the masculine form and saying it to me, “Did you read Michael’s blog?...Bless His Heart”.

I’ve never used the phrase, so let me give it a try:

Hillary for President… Bless Her Heart!

Hey… it works! Till next time.